It is a difficult thing to be concerned about someone and not know what to do. If you have a niggling feeling with your instincts raising red flags, it is important to act. Many people are unaware of what actions to take. This page is designed to give you the confidence to trust your instincts and help someone.
First and foremost, ask “are you OK”? Then ask again! It’s OK to then lead with something along the lines of, “I don’t mean to pry, but you don’t seem yourself, you seem…..and state how they seem to you, such as withdrawn. I am here if you would like to talk “with open and warm body language. It is important to check in again in a couple of days. A suggested approach is “sorry to be a pain, I am checking in to ensure you are OK.” This approach may seem forward, however what you’re doing is acknowledging the person you’re concerned about and opening a space otherwise closed. You are providing comfort and encouraging the person to think, am I ok? Another suggested method is to invite the person over or go to their house, cook a meal or meet for a coffee and casually mention you’ve been a little worried. Generally, people want to help, it’s the initial approach which can seem daunting. A final approach is to talk about yourself, talk about something you have been finding difficult or how you are feeling and then ask, “how about you, what’s been going on with you?”
You might be the person to help him or her realise they do need support and provide the encouragement to reach out for it.
If someone confides in you, the best thing you can do is listen. What it took for that person to confide is huge and it may signal that this person needs immediate help. Often, it can be enough that the person has finally spoken out about their worries providing relief and a space for you to ask if they have thought about reaching out for support. Either way, your reassurance is paramount providing a safe space and acknowledgment that what this person has just done is a good and positive thing. You might also like to offer your support, by being there and offering your hand, you’re leading the way and saying it’s OK.
Be realistic in terms of what support you can offer and remember to look after yourself. You can also speak to someone about how you feel and how this is affecting you.
If someone is willing to seek support, then take their lead and adjust yourself accordingly. Offer the space to talk, as although they might be speaking to a professional, having further space to talk is comforting. Speaking to a professional can be draining and take time, but it is the best way forward.
If someone is unwilling and you continue to be concerned, this is where you must consider whether the person is a potential risk and involve other people. If you believe the person is suicidal, call 999 immediately.
Here are some considerations:
Samaritans – every 6 seconds, they respond to a call for help! This is a free service offering telephone and face to face listening and support every day of the year.
Shout is a free crisis text line offering a listening and support service every day of the year. While it states crisis, it is important to know you can text if you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed and just need someone to talk to.
*Text 85258 and a volunteer will respond.
*Website: www.giveusashout.org
Mind is a free listening and support service Monday to Friday, 9-6pm. You can ask about mental health problems, where to get help, treatment options and advocacy options.
*Call 0300 123 3393 for support and signposting
*Text 86463
*Write a letter to Mind Infoline, PO Box 75225, London, E15 9FS
*Website www.mind.org.uk
PAPYRUS is a national charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide. Please call Papyrus if you are having thoughts of suicide or are concerned about a young person who might be.
*Call 0800 068 4141 9am-10pm weekdays, 2pm-10pm weekends, 2pm-10pm bank holidays
*Text 07860039967
*Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
*Website www.papyrus-uk.org
Childline is a service provided by the NSPCC. Childline is here to help anyone under 19 in the UK with any issue they’re going through.
*Call 0800 1111 Freephone 24 hours
1-2-1 Counsellor chat
*App FOR ME, the childline app
*Website www.childline.org.uk
Free, safe, anonymous online counselling, support and information for young people.
*Website www.kooth.com ready to chat online until 10pm.
You can text a wellbeing worker who will give you advice via text.
*Text 07529631168
No Panic is a registered charity which helps 13-20 year olds who suffer from Panic Attacks, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and other related anxiety disorders.
*Helpline open everyday 10am-10pm. 08449674848
*Youth helpline tel 03306061174
*Email info@nopanic.org.uk
*Website www.nopanic.org.uk
Free information and support for under 25s in the UK. Get advice about sex, relationships, drugs, mental health, money & jobs.
*Helpline open 7 days a week 4om-11pm 08088084994
*1-2-1 chat
*Crisis messenger service through the website
*Email form through the website
*Website www.themix.org.uk
Available for anyone up to 19 years old who needs emotional support. A confidential helpline run by young people for young people.
*Call the helpline 07516391429 (daytime only)
*Website www.youth2youth.co.uk
The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is leading a movement against suicide, the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK and the cause of 18 deaths every day.
*Call: 58 58 58 7 days 5pm-midnight
*Website: www.thecalmzone.net
Calm Harm is an award-winning app developed for teenage mental health charity stem4 by Dr Nihara Krause, Consultant Clinical Psychologist, using the basic principles of an evidence-based therapy called Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT).
Calm Harm provides tasks to help you resist or manage the urge to self-harm. You can make it private by setting a password, and personalise the app if you so wish. You will be able to track your progress and notice change. Please note the app is an aid in treatment but does not replace it.
*Available on the App Store and Google Play
*Website: www.calmhalm.co.uk
Face your fear with the free Clear Fear app and learn to reduce the physical responses to threat as well as changing thoughts and behaviours and releasing emotions. Anxiety is a natural response to fear, threat and apprehension. However, when anxiety is extreme or goes on for a long time, or the response to a threat is disproportionately large and affects a person negatively, it may become an anxiety disorder.
*Available on the App Store and Google Play
*Website: www.clearfear.co.uk
Phone app that offers everyday mindfulness in just a few minutes a day with guided mediations on everything from managing stress and anxiety, to sleep, productivity and physical health.
*Available on the App Store and Google Play
*Website: www.headspace.com
Find your calm to sleep better, stress less and live better!
For Sleep, Meditation and Relaxation, with over 50 million downloads and over 700,000 5-star reviews. We’re honored to be an Apple BEST OF 2018 award winner, Apple’s App of the Year 2017, Google Play Editor’s Choice 2018, and to be named by the Center for Humane Technology as “the world’s happiest app”.
Meditate, listen to exclusive music to help you focus, relax and sleep. There’s videos on mindful movement, masterclass mindfulness programs and nature scenes to enjoy while relaxing, sleeping, working or studying.
*Available on the App Store and Google Play
*Website: www.calm.com
The primary aim of The Worrinots is to provide children with a platform that they can use to communicate their worries, fears and anxieties. The Worrinots application and characters have been developed with the help of some of the UK’s leading child psychologists to encourage children to share their concerns and deal with them appropriately.
When Worrinots is combined with the monitoring app WotNot, parents & carers can feel assured they are informed of their children’s worries, have the ability to respond to them in real time and and feel empowered with the knowledge they are able to help their child.
*Available on the App Store and Google Play
*Website www.worrinots.com
Aimed at schools and parents offering resources, strategies and support alongside free resources via Facebook on how to cope with a variety of stress and anxiety situations.
*Wesbite: https://thecontentedchild.co.uk/for-parents/
ELSA Support is a website which provides downloadable resources that support the teaching of emotional literacy or emotional intelligence by ELSA’s. A lot of the resources on this website are perfectly suitable for all teaching professionals to use and there is also a parent section with resources suitable for parents to use.
*Website https://www.elsa-support.co.uk/about-elsa-support/
We’re here to help anyone affected by crime, not only those who experience it directly, but also their friends, family and any other people involved. It doesn’t matter when the crime took place – you can get our support at any time, and for however long you need us.
We provide free and confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year for people affected by crime and traumatic events – regardless of whether you have reported the crime to the police.
The support services we offer are tailored to the needs of each person. These include:
*Call 08 08 16 89 111 TIP! Dial 141 to hide your number, you may like to double check this with your network provider.
*Website: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/how-we-can-help
It’s OK To Say is currently searching for a mental health text support service to partner with and support.
The safety of yourself and the person you are concerned about is most important, take a deep breath and know you can do this. The founder’s father sadly took his life when she was 13, there was nothing around then like there is now. Stacey only discovered 3 years ago that he did go to a family member for help and this family member to this day is traumatised that he couldn’t help because he didn’t know how to and carries blame. We are changing history and saving lives, gone are the days we don’t speak out. We are rejecting the stigma! The truth is, nobody really wants to die; they want to change the situation they are in and are frightened. They don’t know how, therefore need the support.
Please try out any of our helpful questionnaires. These are designed to give you some guidance about your or someone else's emotional state of mind.
