If you feel you need help, then every day, you must be asking yourself questions of, what can I do? What is the first step? If I go to my GP, what if there is a wait period? What can I do to fill that gap? You may also be experiencing physical symptoms.
What about right now?
Right now, you can focus on the here and the now. What are you feeling? Do you know why you’re feeling this way? Below is a thinking tree diagram for you to follow to help you decide what you need to do right now.
We’re extraordinary and capable of gaining positive control. There is an overlap in physical and mental symptoms, so looking after yourself is imperative. It’s OK to consult your GP and talk through your concerns or the concerns of a loved one. Consider stimulants at this heightened time to include alcohol, caffeine and energy drinks. Consider your diet, learn a grounding technique (see below), practice mindfulness and have five ways to unwind from your day. Please do not underestimate the impact of these. It is OK and wonderful to evolve and reach for a better self.
Mindfulness is paying more attention to the present moment, to your own thoughts and feelings and then to the world around you. Mindfulness can help adults and children cope better with sadness, loneliness, fear and anxiety, anger and increase empathy for others. This naturally occurs, as we recognise negative thoughts as negative thoughts not facts, therefore we don’t engage with them as much.
It’s about allowing ourselves to see the present moment clearly, for exactly what it is. Knowing directly what is going on inside and outside ourselves. When we get caught up in our own thoughts that are the driving force behind our emotions and behaviour, we stop noticing the world around us.
Are you aware of how your body is feeling? An important part of mindfulness is reconnecting with our bodies and the sensations experienced. It puts you directly in touch with sight, sound, smell, taste and the present moment clearly. When we do this, a positive change occurs in the way we see ourselves and our lives.
Mindfulness helps us to:
*This awareness helps us notice signs of stress and/or anxiety allowing a more positive response.
Consider mindfulness a warm embrace that it is OK and will be OK, learning to embrace each day mindfully. While mindfulness isn’t the answer to everything, it can become a piece of the puzzle.
To disrupt the ‘autopilot’ we often find ourselves in, notice the everyday, notice the sensations of things. Keep it regular – When in your day does it work for you? When you become more akin with applying mindfulness to your everyday, you will find yourself doing it without thinking. To begin with, maybe a mindfulness app to listen to at a certain time in your day may be helpful. Set aside time to meditate and reconnect with yourself, 10 minutes makes a day of difference. Try something new – change things up like sitting somewhere different to help you notice the world in a new way, it works! Watch your thoughts – gentle persistence is the key to mindfulness, it doesn’t always come easy at first (acknowledge the difficulty) and if you stop, the thoughts can crowd in! To prevent this, take moments in the day to close your eyes and acknowledge your thoughts and how you’re feeling. Name thoughts and feelings – it might be helpful to silently name “Here’s the thought that I might not be good enough.” Or, “This is anxiety”. Free yourself from the past and future – I believe this is ultimately one of the most important things you can do. The past is not you and the future is unknown. Try to allow yourself a pass to free yourself from the ‘trapped’ in reliving past problems or ‘pre-living’ future worries.
“Our lives are like a ‘join the dots picture, as you join each number, you begin to understand a complete picture. Take the time to understand the elements from your past, your timeline to understand its influences and accept you. Certainly, mindfulness can help you with acknowledgment and acceptance.” Stacey
“Look for what you’re grateful for and bring it right down, to the hear and now then grow from there.” Stacey
You may like to try this helpful grounding exercise;
Re-connecting with your senses helps to bring you in the here and the now, offering calm when consumed by overwhelming emotion.
*You may like to sit in a comfortable position and place your hands comfortably in your lap.
*Notice five things you can see, say them out loud or in your head while pausing between each one. “I see……”
*Notice four things you can feel in your body. Name them and rest your attention to each for a few breaths.
*Notice three things you can hear.
*Notice two things you can smell. Feel free to move to capture another smell.
*Notice one thing you can taste and take notice of whether your mouth is watery or dry and how your throat feels.
*Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and come back into the moment. Give yourself a minute to sip some water and then notice how you feel.
We will be offering more support on this, but for now try this one and note down each time how you feel.
Overall, know that how you feel is OK. Know that there is help available and allow us to give you the reassurance, urging you – “come on, you can do this, and we promise, you won’t regret it!”
Our hope is that you will find support and encouragement within the pages to secure emotional and overall well-being.
You might like to see this page http://www.itsoktosay.org.uk/im-concerned/
If you’re looking for help for your child, click here: http://www.itsoktosay.org.uk/kids-club/
Self-Care and Self-Compassion is an essential part of everyday life.
Our amazing Dr Rebecca Adlington has added further clarification on Self-care and self-compassion.
If the positive wheel lands on the acronym B.A.S.E, this is a reminder to crreate your plan for self- care, where B=doing something to nourish your body, A=awareness; stop and notice what you need in this moment, and make time to do just that, S= social, connect with people that make you feel good, and E=enjoyment - just do something you enjoy!
“I see self-care as the things we do to look after our physical and mental wellbeing, I think that it is very hard to make time for this without self-compassion, as it's being kind to ourselves that allows us to actually make the time to care for ourselves. Moreover, I think there can be a big difference in the way you apply the two. For example, whereas an act of self-care might be to go for a run, an act of self-compassion might be recognising that given everything else you have on today, it's ok to not go so far, or choose to do some yoga at home, or just take the dog a walk instead. In this way, self-compassion is about giving ourselves permission to do what is right for us right now. Make sure you schedule this in as otherwise, it tends to get forgotten about.” – Dr Rebecca Adlington
Click to spin the activity wheel, and choose what you will do today to make yourself feel happier.
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